My best relationship advice is not based on opinion, but science.
Turns out, there are an array of scientifically proven ways to have more loving, fulfilling relationships. You can intentionally propel your love life.
What is my best relationship advice?
A few years ago, I became friends with John Gray, author of the 1992 bestselling book, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” (15 million+ sold). John’s book is about the psychological differences between men and women; why we fight and how to love each other better.
Kisses count
A study by the University of Oxford found that couples who kiss frequently have better relationships, and break up less often. Also, the intensity you feel during your first intimate kiss with someone new is a strong indicator of the probability of a successful relationship. (Did you tingle from head to toe?)
Delay sex
A study at the University of Texas found that your age at the time of your first sexual encounter influences your odds of success in future relationships. Those who had their first sexual experience after 19 years of age had more stable and rewarding romantic relationships. They also had fewer sexual partners. (Do you remember the first time?)
Romantic films
A study by PsycNET shows that relationships improve and the risk of divorce diminishes when couples watch romantic movies together. After viewing love films we reflect on what we’re doing wrong and how we can be better to each other. (Watch “The Notebook” tonight.)
Let’s talk
A takeaway from “Men Are From Mars…” is that men want to solve relationship problems quickly, while women want to talk for a while. For example, when I get caught forgetting to put the toilet seat down, I must listen patiently to how often I’ve done it in the past, why it’s unsanitary, why I keep forgetting, and what steps I’ll take to ensure it won’t happen again. (It’s easier to sit down.)
Forget aspirin
A study of UCLA college women (in relationships with boyfriends) found that looking at a photo of the person you love reduces pain levels, similar to aspirin. If your loved one can be with you, touching you, holding your hand, pain diminishes even more. (Keep his/her best photo handy on your smartphone.)
Marry smart
A study at Saint Louis University found that men with high IQs are less likely to cheat on their partners. Smarter men were more monogamous, valuing sexual exclusivity. The study showed a woman’s IQ had no bearing on her fidelity. (Smart guys learn quickly that it’s dumb to play around.)
Night clamming
A recent Arizona study shows that hugging while falling asleep, “night clamming,” results in more intimate, long-lasting relationships. It also reduces the number of arguments, enhances sexuality and increases frequency. (Beware! I hear aggressive clammers push you off the bed.)
“All relationships go through hell, real relationships get through it.” I hope these tips help you get through it quickly and come out better for it.
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
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